Hot Boudin, Cold Cous-Cous...

Liveblogging Fresno State at LSU:

8:12: The game, delayed after two inches of rain, is moments away from starting. That 33-point cover is looking near-impossible, Tank.

8:15: It's sad; there are about 30,000 people in the stands when the game starts. Do we demand instant gratification that much now? We're slowly becoming like UF fans.

8:16: LSU wins the toss, elects to defer. 8 in a row, 1 in 256 chance, baby.

8:17: Ah, the melodic voice of Ron Franklin lets us know that there were stadium safety measures not allowing fans to enter the stadium till, like, 20 minutes ago.

8:20: Country not starting...? It's Craig Steltz time. Fresno goes three rushes and out, Buster lets the punt be downed. I swear, I thought I heard Ron say that Chevis was lined up to receive the punt.

8:22: St. Louis leads Game 1 of the Two Coolest Road Jerseys Series 4-1.

8:24: Uh, we just lost six or seven yards on a 2nd-and-1 lateral pass. 33-point favorites.

8:25: Bowe plucks a ball out of the air for the first. I take for granted how much I'll miss these receivers. Trindon Holliday gets the corner and easily takes it in 38 yards untouched for the score. Skyler Green, version 2.0.

For a second there, I subconsciously thought the unthinkable-- Ronnie Prude returning an interception for a touchdown.

8:32: Fresno converts on a screen up the middle. Good call. The Bear Pascoe Namedrop count is at 1.

8:36: FSU punts, and they're averaging 28 yards per punt. Buster's able to field it, and, wouldn't you know, goes untouched at half-speed for 77 yards and the touchdown. So far, this has been that game that makes me realize our assessors of talent might not be very skilled at all.

I can't wait until Buster Davis tackles Buster Davis in the NFL, and Chris Berman explodes as a result.

8:41: This is weird, watching a live-action LSU game with a computer on my lap. That's why I won't be liveblogging Tennessee, thanks.

8:42: Sean Norton + about 30 seconds in the pocket = Ali Highsmith leveling him out of bounds. Welcome to 30% of Death Valley.

8:44: FSU downs the ball at the eight. More stats for JR, pace. Now something bad is bound to happen...

8:46: One more telling of the Bowe-getting-LASIK saga. I've heard the full spectrum of versions, everything from his contacts not being suitable to him being legally blind. LASIK has probably paid Ed Cunningham to mention this, I'm guessing.

Be prepared when the FOX Cotton Bowl announcers tell the story of Bowe not having eyes at all until this past summer.

8:47: Tyler Clutts sacks JaMaicus as we move backwards, and that suitably sums up the game. Hate that freaking punt formation.

8:50: I think Pelini challenged himself tonight by allowing only 15% of the defensive playbook to be used. And, you know what? I'm OK with it.

8:51: Fresno with a fifteen-yard punt. Let's just get this over with as fast as possible. I'm not sure if anyone wants to be there right now.

8:57: Did I mention I ate like three pounds of meat around 2:00 today? Yeah, drove a half-hour to Salt Lick Barbecue, where you pay $16 and they keep bringing meat out until you tell them to stop. I love Texas.

9:01: Both teams have had a couple of three-and-outs. The Victory Cigar, or the Granny Smith Apple, or whatever you want to call him, looks unlikely to get any playing time tonight.

9:04: Cards lead 7-1. I'm excited to see the TV ratings for this series.

9:07: Just an ugly game. JR completed a two-yard pass to Chaz Scott, who slipped, making it 4th-and-eight. Not much to say; this is still the most entertaining game on right now, with the 7-1 baseball game and 17-0 Clemson/GT yawner.

9:09: I love how Borat is going to make millions more than Flags of Our Fathers in their respective opening weekends. I honestly can't foresee any situation in which I actively get in the car to go see Flags.

9:11: Another well-executed screen pass by FSU. Hey, Tyson, it's not ever going to be that easy. Don't bite next time. I'm legitimately worried now.

9:14: FSU hits a seeing-eye field goal, 14-3, Tigers. I guess it's good that JaMaicus is getting his bad game out of the way before Knoxville. Unless he plays a pick-up game during the bye weekend and absolutely tears it up.

9:19: Russell paces a three-yard run. Let it go on the record that I'll never be comfortable with 'Maicus running with a wet ball. I think even he was surprised he didn't fumble.

9:21: 24-yard pass to Bowe. 'Maicus has also never sold anybody on his playfake. It's so nonchalant, but that's just another thing I love about him.

9:23: Welcome to the now! Louisiana State University! Shot of a black woman working in a lab!

9:25: Bowe loses a catchable one in the endzone. Colt David nails the 44-yard field goal. He might be this decade's John Corbello, and I mean that in a good way. Then again, Ed Cunningham called Ryan Gaudet a 'very good kicker.'

9:29: This our first Grey Sweatshirt Night for Bo Pelini. Fall's here...it's my own personal leaves changing color.

9:35: Halftime... Not sure what to do at halftime with these things.

9:37: Michigan State 41, Northwestern 38 after a 35-point comeback by the Spartans. State's that emotional basket case of a girl who needs to be taken home at like 11 PM during a night of partying.

9:42: Clemson 31, Ga Tech 7. Sorry, Lenny and Bubes.

9:55: I haven't mentioned how much it sounds like Ron Franklin has never seen rain before. It absolutely downpoured for two hours before the game started. I want him to shadow TWC's Jim Cantore during the next hurricane.

9:57: 114 yards of offense during the first half. I'm glad I didn't come in town for this game.

9:59: I'm slowly realizing how Charles Scott kind of sucks. He always seems to hit the hole standing up, which is never good. Title run 2007!

10:00: Three-and-out after 'Maicus gets an intentional grounding call. This is following the typical upset recipe.

10:02: 34-yard pass for Fresno. I do not want Ed Cunningham lecturing the defense anymore.

10:03: Another screen up the middle, another success for FSU. Another Bear Pascoe namedrop.

10:05: I want someone to say LaRon Landry sucks. Ever since 2004, he's been "a safety who's definitely going to be playing on Sundays." How about saying he's not good enough?

10:06: FSU knuckleballs a field goal, Tigers up 17-6. It could (and should) be much worse.

10:11: Alley Broussard! Let's see if Ron Franklin did his research and talks about Scooby Snacks.

10:12: We look a little like THE MOST TALENTED TEAM EVAR now on this drive. JR with a nice pass, Holliday with a 12-yard run. I think Jimbo allowed himself 20 more pages at halftime.

10:13: Alley Broussard, 21-yard touchdown. 24-6, Tigers. I still don't think we'll ever know the story on 'Cat. Hopefully he'll be back to 2004 form next season.

10:17: Ed Cunningham comes thisclose to mentioning Scooby Snacks. Also, he said the reason Alley sat out last week was 'the eating situation.' This has been an unusual season.

10:21: Highsmith continues to have a big game. It seems like he must have about eight tackles already. Certainly making Rondell Mealey and Trev Faulk proud to wear #7.

10:24: Highsmith gets a sack. Highsmith, Butkus Award Finalist. Craig Steltz, sack on a corner blitz. I'm just pulling for the cover now.

Pelini only allowed himself one corner blitz this game, and it worked.

10:27: Cards put it away 7-2. Not sure if I like them as much as I used to. It mostly has to do with the pure unintentional comedy stemming from GENIUS Tony LaRussa. I'm pulling for them, though.

10:30: I love that Mike Golic Dr. Pepper commercial where he acts like footballs are flying all over the place. He certainly saved his best acting for the Mike and Mike commercials.

10:33: Some story about a turkey that turned into the Herman Johnson/largest LA baby story pretty quickly. Also, it featured Dr. Jerry Punch (an actual doctor!) talking about delivering babies and comparing them to turkeys. I'm confused. This is no better than the Steve Lyons habla'ing espanol thing, right?

10:34: Bowe catches the pass in stride and we get some Bowe-in-the-open-field moves, something we don't see nearly enough. 31-6, Tigers. 33 points in sight, after Hurricane Katrina part two? Unbelievable.

10:35: Sonic commerical about a guy who blogs and suspects he only has two readers. I'm not going to Sonic ever again. Please, HTFers, comment sometime? I need affirmation.

10:38: Steltz lambasts a guy to break up a potential thirty-yard pass. Did I mention how Jonathan Zenon is having, like, the worst game of his career?

10:40: Tigers force a fourth-and-six. It is made known that LaRon had a 2.8 GPA at LSU. Davis makes too many moves on the punt return, Tigers near their own 20.

10:44: Alley Broussard on a 38-yard run, and he actually looks legitimately ready to play. I think TAF just buys his groceries for him by now.

10:46: Les Miles pulled out the windsuit for a special occasion tonight. We go for the fourth-and-one.

10:49: On the fourth down, we decide we just want the touchdown right now. Maicus makes it look easy on the slant to Buster over the middle. LSU 38-6 as the Granny Smith Apple begins to warm up.

10:51: I've thought about emailing Wendy's with, "You realize I'm not ever going to consider your restaurant until you pull the plug on those commercials with that seizure-inducing whistle at the beginning and the end, right?"

10:55: The good thing about having only the 30,000 best fans in the stadium is that nobody's leaving early when it's 38-6. A Geaux Tigers chant is heard in the background.

10:56: Landry paces an out-of-bounds tackle that he should've been penalized for. He's still in the game for some reason.

10:58: Six minutes left in the Race for the Cover. I see a Flynn INT in the near future...

11:01: Big FSU fourth down for gamblers, and Steltz breaks up another pass. Cue 'Bandits.' Steltz is known as Surfer Man to his team, according to Ed Cunningham. You're probably pulling a Musberger there, Ed.

11:03: Keiland Williams will decidedly not be having a good game tonight. Matthew paces a quarterback draw for the first down. Are the sports books in Vegas going crazy right now? I think so.

11:06: First down, Tigers. Cover seems out of reach, and then Keiland takes it down the sideline nicely. This is the gambling moment of the season.

You Vegas tease, you

11:08: Tigers run the clock out at the six. This is why I don't gamble.

11:09: Your final: LSU 38, Fresno 6. Reminded me a lot of the Vanderbilt game last year. I must say, that was a fairly well-played, well-called game by FSU. They didn't turn the ball over once and paced three successful screens up the middle that even Urban Meyer didn't think up. I don't like this liveblogging thing too much, glad I got it out of the way.

11:11: Ryan Perrilloux sulks in the corner of the locker room.

- P.T.