Hot Boudin, Cold Cous-Cous...

The Predictions: Week 11:

I've always placed Michigan/Ohio State right along North Carolina/Duke and Yankees/Red Sox. Really, no other rivalries belong in the argument. So, after the UM/ND game, when it appeared these two might be headed for a matchup on ABC with both undefeated, I honestly thought ESPN might implode. Too much Chris Spielman and Desmond Howard in a pissing contest. Actually, HTF wasn't prepared in the least. Now, if it was even possible, the stakes have been raised even more. And my final initial inclination seems even more fitting given the new circumstances.

1929-2006.

1929... depression. Depression... Cinderella Man. Cinderella Man... Waterford crystal.

First, Michigan's a lot better than they were last season or any season since 2003. Motivation? Check. Experience at skill positions? Check. Defense? Check. Really, what more is needed? Oh, yes, the mindset of a once-great depression era boxer suddenly motivated by poverty to return to the ring, eventually climbing his way back to the top.

Check.

It's been painful for UM fans to watch Troy Smith lobotomize their defensive backfield, both running and passing, the last two seasons. And the game's in Columbus this year, with Smith as the Heisman frontrunner playing his last home game? Seems all too easy. Heck, even we picked you as the one seed, and that was back in August. Pack your black twill 'O' baseball cap, Andy Katzenmoyer jersey, and tear gas neutralizer, Bucks-- you're going to the Taco.

HTF's waiting patiently for the flat-billed twill cap to come back in style.

Nevermind, throw away the bowl predictions. Neither Antonio Pittman or Chris Wells, Eddie George or Archie Griffin could run against this Wolverine front seven. 29.9 yards a game on the ground... still skeptical? They've faced Notre Dame and Wisconsin, compiling the two most quality wins of any team in the country by far (hence the #1 computer ranking). Sure, their cornerback play has not nearly been as solid, but they've got one legitimate island corner to handle Ginn when blitzing. And the front seven is so much more physical, tough, and quick compared to years past, the fucking oxygen tent won't matter to HTF Favorite A. Gonzales.

Half-shirt, comically large shoulder numbers... all Eddie's missing is the 'Say No to Drugs' towel tucked into his waist.

I can't believe I'm saying this about Michigan, but they're about to win a big game... on the road... by being more physical than the other team. It's like they had a McGriddle and coffee way back in August, and they're learning this for the first time. Hey, we came to Michigan to actually win football games, not improve draft stock. I guess we should try to put in some hard work in the offseason, no?

Things were just so much simpler back then... just paper-thin windbreakers, twill caps, government-issue glasses, and hitting opposing players because they merely intercepted a poorly thrown pass.

Michigan wins with Henne, given extra time in the pocket, checking down from Manningham to Breaston almost every time. Breaston has a big game, Hart does just enough to run out game clock, and the front seven comes as advertised. Ohio State gets their two or three big plays, but Michigan outplays them in the rest.

Michigan 20 Ohio State 14.

Please, do not anger The Orgeron more than necessary. I'm posting this late with hopes he forgets to sweep through his bookmarked football-related blogs tomorrow morning. HTF really wonders what lies in those Netscape bookmarks on his Gateway; surely, the dude's still pacing a Juno email address.

Please, just do not anger The Orgeron.

Hey, my one reader-- fucking bet on this game if you read this in time. The line was at 27 last I checked, and they might be giving Tulane and UL competition as the worst team we've faced all season. Couldn't think of a better matchup; Schaeffer and Co. cannot create any semblance of a pass offense, and they've adopted a run first philosophy as a result. Alabama's usually consistent run offense was stymied over a surprisingly effective J.P. Wilson passing game last week... good so far.

Let Ceej take another winning coin toss, Dorsey stuff BenJarvis Green-Ellis (officially looked him up just now) three times up the middle, and JaM (found it at LSUbeat, we can work with this) take over at home with five straight scores. I see that happening. Really, the Rebs took about nineteen steps backward by not keeping David Cutcliffe or freezing some of Marbles Jr.'s seed in 2003. But they've got Patrick Willis! I hate this team.

Pat Willis is removing that one really good mix CD you made like a few months ago from the visor of your totaled car. Personified.

Nevermind about that coin toss; all 22 seniors will be the game captains. Russell-to-Bowe surpasses Hodson-to-Hilliard for the record books, Jake Hester officially wins the Wait, He's a Junior???! award, and the Tigers pack up for the game of the season next Friday. This season's not so bad after all.

LSU 48 Ole Miss 10.

- P.T.