Miscellany: An Attempt to Win You HTFers Back:

I know, I know, haven't been the best blogger as of late. Like, since the Tennessee game. I'm not even making myself laugh anymore, and no photoshopped image of, say, Tommy Tuberville, with George Michael, on a skislope can change that. Truth is, there's kind of a lot going on in Tigertown right now; you shouldn't have to rely on secondhand news from FOXsports.net or ESPN.

• Hey, it's almost Heisman weekend. How about that Hawaii quarterback, Colt Brennan, freaking tearing it up over there? Can we expect to see an invitation to New York sent his way. Don't count on it:
  

"Brennan plead guilty of burglary and trespassing for his actions that evening. What sounds on the surface like a case of harassment -- entering a co-ed's room uninvited and not leaving -- is much more if you believe the victim's side of the story. Brennan says he was intoxicated and doesn't remember what happened. 'I don't think I touched the girl,' Brennan said Friday. 'The only thing I know is that night I acted inappropriately and didn't leave when I should have.'"

For all we know, Colt performed that, 'the Brennan,' on a co-ed that fateful night.

Um, yeah. So Brennan transferred to the island after doing something with a girl that he can't exactly remember; they tend to look down upon these things at Colorado, especially with Kobe Bryant just chillin' in Eagle County at the time.

Your monkeyface fix. What? No, you're racist.

• Back to last Friday's game. Man, that really escalated! On the opening drive, Arkansas looked like 1994 Nebraska on a double-dose of Justin Gatlin's and Bill Romanowski's medicine combined. It looked like a long afternoon... until we slowly realized H. Dale Nutt scripted the opening drive on Monday and then played Geosense for the rest of the week. The U.S.-only version, if you're scoring at home.

http://www.nuttsucks.com . Traffic spiked Friday sometime around 5:15.

But we slowly settled down, and probably played our most quality offensive game of the season. JaMarcus was efficient as usual, with no stupid interceptions, though I'm not sure it would've mattered. I'll take Russell coming back to atone for his mistakes anywhere; that Tennessee game might become the most important of his career.

• Still, though, someone needs to sit Les Miles down and refresh him: probably not the best idea to let a 6'7", 260-lb. quarterback try to maneuver with the football in small spaces. I don't even blame JaMarcus anymore. I bruised several bones falling off the Miles Fence with that quarterback draw on third and five with two minutes left. Trindon, if you're reading this, just sneak into short-yardage practice this week; he'd be like trying to kill a flea.

Not the most reliable ball handler out there. Luckily, he's got go-go-gadget arms.

• Speaking of Trin... my God. Put that kickoff return right up there with Spears' INT-for-TD, Skyler's Improvisation vs. Georgia, and the Bluegrass Miracle for Desert Island Plays of the Decade. Also, how excited am I to hear the obligatory "Trindon Holliday... he's really small!!" comment for the next three years? Remember, he was in my five names you'll know by October column.

Stay fly.

• McFadden and Jones... what can you say? Since when has a top-ranked defense given up eight or nine yards on a first-down run and felt satisfied? That was Saturday for you. It was just one long finger-crossing until the game rested on Houston Nutt's brain and Casey Dick's arm. Then it was easy. I haven't heard two words worse than 'Wildcat Formation' since 'Peach Bowl.' Sure, you can laugh about the Wildcat formation now, but it was freaking nerve-racking, and certainly will be next November. Darren and Felix, if you're reading, don't hire Maurice Clarett's attorney this offseason; surely you can figure out a way to slip into a Detroit Lions uniform before August.

Googled 'Wildcat formation.' Maybe Verne Lundquist is just an avid airshow fan. They do resemble D-Mac and Felix, though.

• Just how many tickets are we going to sell? 40,000? 50,000? I don't want to jinx anything, but every major sports news source has reported the Rose is going to pace us an invite. It kind of helps that we've already sold 32,000 tickets, 17,000 of which have come since Monday. I'm still thinking that ABC is pressuring the Rose Bowl committee heavily; the Rose is their only BCS bowl and they'd like to make as much money as possible. Notre Dame would provide a slight edge on viewership. That's why Herbstreit acted like Notre Dame-in-the-Rose was a foregone conclusion last Saturday night. We still might be subjected to the Badgers of Wisconsin.

• I freaking hate Pete Carroll. If you're ever frustrated about hearing how much of a 'player's coach' or 'class act' he is, hit play a few times. Go Bruins.

- P.T.

HTF: As Busy as the LSU Ticket Office:



Test tomorrow. I'll blog on everything from bowl predictions to manmutant Darren McFadden (good luck, UF) to the reason a particular Hawaii quarterback wasn't invited to New York.

So in the meantime, enjoy just simply watching other teams beat themselves up this weekend while pulling for UCLA, Florida, and West Virginia in particular.

- P.T.

http://www.bcsfootball.org/bcsfb/eligibility

Most of the bowl projections came out today, and Brad Edwards had his Road to the BCS last night. While most of the forecasters predicted an LSU/Michigan Rose Bowl (officially putting HTF in denial), it seems more likely that the Rose would elect to send Notre Dame to Pasadena for the first time since 1925.

Remember how HTF wanted a lasting image to summarize the 2006 season? Here it is. I love this photo; it will be added to the shrine at season's end.

Several articles appeared over the weekend claiming that, in actuality, LSU's BCS hopes depend greatly on Florida's performance in the conference title game. Should Florida win, the Gators would earn an automatic berth to the Sugar Bowl as SEC champion. Should Florida lose, however, the 11-2 Gators should be a prime candidate for the Orange Bowl due to proximity; the ACC champion between Georgia Tech and Wake Forest wouldn't sell near their quota. Hometown favorite UF would more than make up for those empty seats despite losing to LSU-victim Arkansas, however unfair it may seem.

However, there's a contractual situation no one-- even Edwards-- seems to be mentioning. Should #4 Florida lose, the #5 Tigers should pass the Gators (currently a .079 differential), climbing into the fourth spot. Even 'the computers' would recognize that Florida lost to the same team on a neutral field that LSU had just beaten on the road. Per the official BCS Selection Procedures:

6. If any of the 10 slots remain open after application of provisions 1 through 5, and if no team qualifies under paragraph No. 5 and an at-large team from a conference with an annual automatic berth for its champion is ranked No. 4 in the final BCS Standings, that team will become an automatic qualifier provided that no at-large team from the same conference qualifies for the national championship game.

The '6' represents the sixth provision for automatic qualification. Take a minute to browse the rules yourself. Correct HTF if we're wrong, but per the rules, here are your automatic BCS bids (presumably) if Florida loses:

Bowl Championship Series bids (10):

1, 2: Ohio State and USC, per qualification 1.

3, 4, 5, 6: Arkansas, Georgia Tech/Wake Forest, Louisville/Rutgers, Oklahoma/Nebraska, per qualification 2.

7: Boise State, per qualification 3.

8: Notre Dame, per qualification 4, or simply because they're Notre Dame.

9: Michigan, per qualification 5.

10: LSU, per qualification 6.

So the Rose or Orange would be forced to select LSU. This is of course assuming Wisconsin and Louisville do not pass the Tigers (highly unlikely, since one's awaiting the Capital One Bowl and one's out of quality opponents). Also, Tiger fans, we're big West Virginia fans this weekend; a one-loss Louisville is a much more attractive at-large team than a two-loss Rutgers or West Virginia. Couch burning?

Of course, Florida winning wouldn't produce nearly as automatic a situation, but might be more comforting-- Florida would head to the Sugar, leaving no lower than the Orange with the smart choice of selecting LSU as its at-large team. Really, no other school-- even a one-loss, possibly-at-large Louisville-- belongs in the conversation. So, yeah, HTF thinks we're going to a money bowl.

Oranges all over my apartment floor,

- P.T.

[By the way, I noticed my error here shortly after emailing Ivan Maisel. The paragraph reads "if no team qualifies under paragraph number 5." Michigan will qualify under paragraph 5, therefore nullifying paragraph six. Damn semantics; this is why I could never be a lawyer. Daaaaaah dah-dah dah-dah-dah Go! Gators!]

To the Place Where Only the Bengal Tigers Have Won: Week 12 Preview:

[Editor's note: This article was originally written on Wednesday 11/22, but the right combination of computer malfunctions and laziness prevented its posting until now. Accuse me of editing things after the fact, but check the prediction first.]

Exciting week here at Hodson to Fuller. Blogging from The City That Care Forgot right now, with this dud of a laptop on its last legs. Still, we'd be remiss to not deliver the ever-accurate prediction. This week: perhaps the biggest game of the season, and we're having a tough time coming to terms with this. Arkansas? Really? Multiple BCS berths on the line in Fayetteville??

Googled 'Fayetteville' here. Seven women, ten chins. Um, Burt, is that you in the left corner?

Arkansas fields a decent team every four years or so under Houston Nutt, but this team is hands-down his most talented. McFadden leads the conference in almost every individual offensive statistic, very nearly pacing JaMarcus for quarterback efficiency (McFadden has thrown five passes this year, three for touchdowns). Really, there's no ceiling for Darren McFadden-- or Felix Jones, for that matter. I vividly remember a freshman running back overshadowed by Auburn's Kenny Irons: equally difficult to tackle, but much faster. And he ran roughshod over us last year at home.

Previously, the only other McFadden I knew was Whitehead's partner. "Ain't no stoppin' us now..."

So what's changed here? Not much, in fact, it seems like our defense against the run has gotten a notch worse with the departures of Kyle Williams and Claude Wroten. Two extremely elusive running backs against a team losing its attention to tackling detail season by season. Heck, even frickin' BenJarvus Green-Ellis looked a Shaun Alexander last week during the first half. Sure, we may have been looking ahead to the Razorbacks, but that seems hard to believe with this Miles staff. I can't foresee a situation that doesn't involve McFadden or Jones having a huge game.

Did not know that big BJG-E transferred from Indiana to Ole Miss. Let's all have a moment of silence for Ben.

Nutt has talked about how his entire team (save for a few fifth-year seniors) has never touched The Boot; LSU has won the last three and last lost in 2002 in the final seconds of the game. Arkansas will probably be the most motivated squad we've faced this year; I just hope that early momentum doesn't blow us out of War Memorial Stadium.

The defensive key for the Tigers obviously lies in sending seven, eight, or nine in the box to contain the run early. Quarterback Casey Dick (comment with your favorite Dick/Nutt joke, please) has proven atrocious at worst and inconsistent at best, losing his job to freshman Mitch Mustain several times this season. The Arkansas receivers pose a threat in the open field, but can definitely be contained by Zenon and (gulp) Chev-Chev especially with the aid of Landry, Daniels, or Steltz.

No reason.

Contrary to previous big games, the offensive key does not completely rely on JaMarcus's arm. Arkansas' defensive backfield is more talented than advertised, but their run defense is rather lacking. Mississippi State was able to generate legitimate runs last week; then again, Arkansas was definitely looking ahead to Friday, with their sudden 'BCS title game contention' on the line. Razorback fans: You are no longer in contention for the BCS Championship Game. It is impossible. You cannot read this blog. It cannot be read to you. Hopefully that changes the mood in northwest AR.

Is there anything more rewarding than photos of depressed rival fans after your team beats them? Come to think of it, LSU probably produced the only Arkansas loss this kid's ever seen in person.

So instead we must rely on one of the Hester/Scott/Williams/Vincent/Broussard troupe to step up on the road with a good four or five yards per carry. Scoring early would decidedly take the crowd noise out of the game (Knoxville); not scoring early could turn this into another Arkansas/Tennessee bloodbath.

It seems like every year in this conference, a less-talented team ripe with unity and senior leadership rattles off a string of conference wins taking everyone by surprise. In 2003, you had Ole Miss. 2004, Auburn. 2005, Alabama. 2006, Arkansas... except there's not a senior in sight. We may be relinquishing The Boot for a long time here.

The prediction: Arkansas 31 LSU 21.

Definitely got this while searching images for 'Terrence Kiel.' Google might be getting a little too smart.

Cotton Bowl bound. Hey Bubes, stock your cabinets full of cheap vodka, Sprite, and Robitussin. We're Terrence Kieling it on New Year's night.

- P.T.

Revised Bowl Predictions: Someone's Not Going to the BCS Anymore:

Busy week of traveling at HTF; the much-awaited, all-too-accurate prediction of Friday's game should be in by Thursday morning. In the meantime, here's some revised bowl predictions to hold you over:

PetroSun Independence: Kansas State vs. Alabama
Pacific Life Holiday: Texas A&M vs. California
Alamo: Nebraska vs. Purdue
Chick-fil-A: Virginia Tech vs. Tennessee
AT&T Cotton: LSU vs. Oklahoma

Bubis, something tells me we'd have trouble making the 10 AM kickoff.

Outback: Auburn vs. Penn State
Toyota Gator: Rutgers vs. Boston College
Capital One: Florida vs. Wisconsin
Rose: USC vs. West Virginia
Tostitos Fiesta: Texas vs. Boise State
FedEx Orange: Georgia Tech vs. Louisville
Alltel Sugar: Notre Dame vs. Arkansas
BCS Championship: (2) Michigan vs. (1) Ohio State

Yes, yes, a rematch exactly fifty days later. I'm actually a fan of this; it gives any one-loss team hope by setting a precedent that makes the timing of a loss more subjective in a sometimes-too-objective system. Remember Florida/FSU back in 1996? Well, the BCS will demonstrate that it's perfectly capable of recreating that situation. Also, I totally want to hear about Bo Schembechler for the entire month of December.

- P.T.

Fiftieth Post: Please, Just Do Not Excite The Orgeron Anymore:

Solid piece of photography. If you had to explain Les Miles or Ed Orgeron 1000 years from now, you'd probably start with this picture.

Can't really talk about the game right now; my head's still throbbing from yelling too much. But, yeah, here's a new name for you: Bradley Dale Peveto, the special teams/linebackers coach. After over 200 return yards, a converted onside kick (for the second week in a row), and a blocked extra point for Ole Miss, it's about time this man is reevaluated. Ever since two muffs in the UL game, we could clearly tell that the remnants of Saban's sharp special teams had faded away. It cost us the Florida game and it very nearly cost us a loss to a 3-8 team on senior night.

Happy Fiftieth Post!

- P.T.

The Predictions: Week 11:

I've always placed Michigan/Ohio State right along North Carolina/Duke and Yankees/Red Sox. Really, no other rivalries belong in the argument. So, after the UM/ND game, when it appeared these two might be headed for a matchup on ABC with both undefeated, I honestly thought ESPN might implode. Too much Chris Spielman and Desmond Howard in a pissing contest. Actually, HTF wasn't prepared in the least. Now, if it was even possible, the stakes have been raised even more. And my final initial inclination seems even more fitting given the new circumstances.

1929-2006.

1929... depression. Depression... Cinderella Man. Cinderella Man... Waterford crystal.

First, Michigan's a lot better than they were last season or any season since 2003. Motivation? Check. Experience at skill positions? Check. Defense? Check. Really, what more is needed? Oh, yes, the mindset of a once-great depression era boxer suddenly motivated by poverty to return to the ring, eventually climbing his way back to the top.

Check.

It's been painful for UM fans to watch Troy Smith lobotomize their defensive backfield, both running and passing, the last two seasons. And the game's in Columbus this year, with Smith as the Heisman frontrunner playing his last home game? Seems all too easy. Heck, even we picked you as the one seed, and that was back in August. Pack your black twill 'O' baseball cap, Andy Katzenmoyer jersey, and tear gas neutralizer, Bucks-- you're going to the Taco.

HTF's waiting patiently for the flat-billed twill cap to come back in style.

Nevermind, throw away the bowl predictions. Neither Antonio Pittman or Chris Wells, Eddie George or Archie Griffin could run against this Wolverine front seven. 29.9 yards a game on the ground... still skeptical? They've faced Notre Dame and Wisconsin, compiling the two most quality wins of any team in the country by far (hence the #1 computer ranking). Sure, their cornerback play has not nearly been as solid, but they've got one legitimate island corner to handle Ginn when blitzing. And the front seven is so much more physical, tough, and quick compared to years past, the fucking oxygen tent won't matter to HTF Favorite A. Gonzales.

Half-shirt, comically large shoulder numbers... all Eddie's missing is the 'Say No to Drugs' towel tucked into his waist.

I can't believe I'm saying this about Michigan, but they're about to win a big game... on the road... by being more physical than the other team. It's like they had a McGriddle and coffee way back in August, and they're learning this for the first time. Hey, we came to Michigan to actually win football games, not improve draft stock. I guess we should try to put in some hard work in the offseason, no?

Things were just so much simpler back then... just paper-thin windbreakers, twill caps, government-issue glasses, and hitting opposing players because they merely intercepted a poorly thrown pass.

Michigan wins with Henne, given extra time in the pocket, checking down from Manningham to Breaston almost every time. Breaston has a big game, Hart does just enough to run out game clock, and the front seven comes as advertised. Ohio State gets their two or three big plays, but Michigan outplays them in the rest.

Michigan 20 Ohio State 14.

Please, do not anger The Orgeron more than necessary. I'm posting this late with hopes he forgets to sweep through his bookmarked football-related blogs tomorrow morning. HTF really wonders what lies in those Netscape bookmarks on his Gateway; surely, the dude's still pacing a Juno email address.

Please, just do not anger The Orgeron.

Hey, my one reader-- fucking bet on this game if you read this in time. The line was at 27 last I checked, and they might be giving Tulane and UL competition as the worst team we've faced all season. Couldn't think of a better matchup; Schaeffer and Co. cannot create any semblance of a pass offense, and they've adopted a run first philosophy as a result. Alabama's usually consistent run offense was stymied over a surprisingly effective J.P. Wilson passing game last week... good so far.

Let Ceej take another winning coin toss, Dorsey stuff BenJarvis Green-Ellis (officially looked him up just now) three times up the middle, and JaM (found it at LSUbeat, we can work with this) take over at home with five straight scores. I see that happening. Really, the Rebs took about nineteen steps backward by not keeping David Cutcliffe or freezing some of Marbles Jr.'s seed in 2003. But they've got Patrick Willis! I hate this team.

Pat Willis is removing that one really good mix CD you made like a few months ago from the visor of your totaled car. Personified.

Nevermind about that coin toss; all 22 seniors will be the game captains. Russell-to-Bowe surpasses Hodson-to-Hilliard for the record books, Jake Hester officially wins the Wait, He's a Junior???! award, and the Tigers pack up for the game of the season next Friday. This season's not so bad after all.

LSU 48 Ole Miss 10.

- P.T.

Hodson to Fuller's Senior Night Special Edition:

When I realized I'd probably miss the Nov. 11 game against Alabama, I immediately hoped the Nov. 18 matchup with Mississippi would provide an opportunity to extend my ever-shrinking Thanksgiving break. The anticipation didn't come from the possibility of seeing The Orgeron work a sideline in person, or watching Brent Schaeffer take his 96th-ranked statistics under the lights in Tiger Stadium. (Is there a more comedically underrated name than 'Brent'? I don't think I know a Brent who doesn't produce comedy.)

No, it's an occasion becoming more and more special for me as a maturing LSU fan. I've spent four years with these guys, learning their hobbies, favorite foods, 40 times, and Facebook activities. And now... it's all over, all at once? I can remember even tearing up a little when players like Joseph Addai and Kyle Williams were called last season. Then again, it may have been from lack of sleep due to Black Friday. Anyway, this is the last group of players from the championship season, making it more and more disappointing that I have a midterm on Monday.

So the least we can do here at HTF is provide our own Senior Night Special Edition. Think of it as what PA announcer Dan Borne' might say, plus some additional anecdotes and personal memories, minus the tendency to interrupt the Golden Band or say 'peenalized.'

A 6'3" wide receiver from Norland High School in Miami, Florida. After surpassing Michael Clayton, he now owns the LSU career touchdown receptions record with 23. Well-known for two game-saving catches against Oregon State in 2004 and at Alabama in 2005. A general studies major, he probably has the best NFL future of any offensive senior. He'll be missed for his ability to pluck overthrown balls, both at midfield and along the sidelines. Never really benefited from a good nickname in Tigertown, yet he played with less-talented comrades 'X-man' and 'Buster.' Maybe D-Bowe, but that sounds too much like 'Tebow.'
#80, Dwayne Lorenzo Bowe.

A 6'0" free safety from Breaux Bridge High School in Breaux Bridge, LA. Nicknamed 'Country' for his duck hunting and fishing hobbies, this General Studies major has acted as defensive captain for three seasons now while playing 45 games. Injury prone, perhaps, but his hard hitting, patience, and sharp understanding of both defensive schemes make this FS near irreplaceable. Often overshadowed by his counterpart LaRon Landry, he has gone tremendously underrated for his consistent play when healthy. Also, he'll be a first-attempt inductee into the HTF Memorial at the end of the season. And, as always, "listens to 'In the Air Tonight' by Phil Collins before every game."
#31, Jessie "Country" Daniels.

A 6'2" wide receiver from O. Perry Walker High School in New Orleans, Louisiana. After countless near-impossible diving catches, he has recorded a catch in twenty-three straight starts. Majoring in communications, he definitely has the eyes to look every ball in. Probably the most underrated offensive player in many of his seasons with the Tigers. His sure hands and big play ability has been taken for granted and will definitely be missed. HTF remembers four or five instances in the 2005 Alabama game alone where he brought in even the most unlikely of catches on the ground. He goes by Craig, but you know him as Buster.
#3, Craig "Buster" Davis.


A 6'5" offensive tackle from Vancouver College in Vancouver, British Columbia. The first Canadian-born athlete to sign with the Tigers, this second-round CFL draft pick finally earned a starting role at right tackle. His hobbies include refurbishing old cars, including a 1979 Firebird, 1984 F-150, and 1980 Buick Century (?). Originally, teammates derided him with the nickname 'mullet' in 2003 and 2004, until he shaved it off after the national championship game. A history major who has already graduated, he played consistently well as a starter in 2006 when healthy. On everyone's all-conference lists for academics and service.
#77, Peter Stefan Dyakowski.

A 5'11" cornerback from Port Barre High School in Port Barre, Louisiana. While never starting a game at defensive back, he made significant contributions to special teams, including a sack-for-safety of Georgia punter Gordon Ely-Kelso in the 2003 conference championship game. In 2006, he saw more opportunities backing up Chevis Jackson in both nickel and dime packages, although that hasn't necessarily been a good thing. A general studies major who lists 'math' as his favorite subject, he hasn't really been a favorite at HTF, giving up critical passes in the Auburn and Florida games this season.
#37, Daniel James Francis.

A 5'7" placekicker (any idea?) from Jesuit High School in New Orleans, Louisiana. He certainly has had a career of ups and downs, perhaps moreso than any other senior. In 2003, his first kick in Tiger Stadium was a 47-yarder versus Georgia, when points were definitely at a premium. After sharing kicking duties with Chris Jackson, he still considers making three PATs versus Oklahoma the pinnacle of his career. Points After Touchdown were definitely not gimmes for him, missing five of them in 2003 and 2004, none more important than Auburn in 2004 where the final score was 10-9. He is joined on the roster by his brother, who is a sophomore kicker.
#39, Ryan Emile Gaudet.

A 6'1" safety from Plant High School in Tampa, Florida. A reliable backup at the talent-filled safety position, he made significant contributions to Tiger special teams. He often shone in scrub minutes, getting a career-high five tackles in 2005 and his lone interception in 2004, both versus Mississippi State. Saw some additional playing time in 2006 with the injuries to Jessie Daniels and Craig Steltz. A general studies major, he lists his favorite athlete as Randy Johnson.
#24, Keron Horatio Gordon.



A 6'0" placekicker/punter from John Curtis High School in River Ridge, Louisiana. A superb athlete who doubles as the starting third baseman on the Tiger baseball team. He has solidified his legacy in Tigertown with both statistical milestones and clutch moments. He was the SEC's leading punter in net average in 2005, a season during which he kicked the game-tying 47-yard field goal against Auburn and the eventual game-winning 42-yard field goal at Alabama. In the field position battle against the Tide, he totaled three punts downed inside the twenty-yard line. In 2003, he kicked the eventual game-winning 45-yard field goal at Ole Miss, sealing the SEC West en route to the title. This animal, dairy, and poultry science major was voted team captain for the season in 2006, figuring out the weight distribution in the game coin nine out of ten times.
#41, Christopher Carl Jackson.

A 6'4" tackle from Godby High School in Tallahassee, Florida. A versatile lineman who has netted 27 starts among the right tackle, left tackle, and left guard positions. He recorded 14 pancakes in 2005, which HTF guesses is the only measurable statistic for an offensive lineman. Seemed like a reliable and durable lineman during the 2005 and 2006 seasons. A general studies major who chose LSU over his favorite school as a child, Florida.
#75, Brian Garrett Johnson.




A 6'2" strong safety from Hahnville High School and Ama, Louisiana. By far the most heralded NFL prospect for the Tigers, he surprised the entirety of Tigertown by ignoring his first-round prospects in the 2006 NFL draft and returning for his senior season. One of the hardest-hitting Tigers HTF has ever seen, his legacy will always be remembered with visions of a safety blitz and an uncontested shot to the opposing quarterback. No other sack was more memorable than that of Brodie Croyle at Alabama in 2005, further increasing the LSU momentum in the second half. A preseason All-American and communication studies major, he has had another solid season in 2006 and will be starting his 46th consecutive game on Saturday.
#30, LaRon Louis Landry.

A 6'5" defensive end from Evangel High School in Shreveport, Louisiana. I'll let a loyal HTFer take over: "[John] and [Jane] are huge Tigers fans--they tailgate in Baton Rouge every home game and travel a lot. And they were in Baton Rouge after a game getting paced--because they're also alcoholics. And they start talking to this woman who's hammered and really mannish-looking. It's the type of thing where at first they want her to leave them alone, but then she ends up being interested and they kind of make fun of her while they're talking to her. And she keeps hitting on [John], even though [Jane] is sitting right there. Like, playing with his hair and stuff. So they're talking to her about fifteen minutes, when all of a sudden, Chase Fucking Pittman walks up--they hadn't noticed him in the bar this whole time--and says, 'Mom, we have to go. Come on. Upsy-daisy.' And drags her out of the place." A general studies major and Junckie favorite, he recorded a safety at Vanderbilt last season.
#94, Benjamin Chase "Upsy-Daisy" Pittman.

A 6'0" linebacker from John Curtis High School and Kenner, Louisiana. Originally recruited as a running back in 2002, he later switched to linebacker under Nick Saban. However, is greatest contributions have come from special teams play in all four years. He sat out the 2003 season due to academic disqualifications. He earns a nod from HTF for being that guy who's usually first to hit the return man on punts and kickoffs. A general studies major who has played in 43 games.
#33, Jason Edward Spadoni.



A 5'10" running back from Barbe High School in Lake Charles, Louisiana. For all the bickering sent his way from HTF this season, the fact remains that he had the finest freshman season in LSU history. In 2003, he recorded 1,001 yards while starting only seven games, earning MVP honors in both the SEC Championship and National Championship. He recorded runs of 87 and 62 yards in the conference championship, while opening the Sugar Bowl with a 64-yard run on the first play of the game. Had a disappointing season in 2004, but rebounded somewhat in the latter part of 2005. A communication studies major, he has been a solid special teams contributor in all four seasons, but that mysterious, Clarett-like offseason in 2004 will always follow him around.
#25, Justin Daniel Vincent.

A 6'3" defensive end from Holy Cross High School in New Orleans, Louisiana. A solid backup for Chase Pittman who has seen action in 32 games. A terrific athlete and student, as he was also a heralded pitcher out of high school. He will have made the SEC academic honor roll all four seasons by graduation while majoring in kinesiology. Has roots to the LSU football program, as his father and uncle both signed scholarships in 1976.
#52, Ryan Fortier Willis.




A 6'4" tight end from Leesville High School in Leesville, Louisiana. After being sidelined for most of 2006 with a mysterious stomach ailment, he leaves as a moderately solid contributor at the underutilized tight end position. However, most of HTF's memories come from his dropped passes; he has netted only one career touchdown, but the writer remembers several other situations involving him and the endzone. A general studies major, he was actually born in Heidleberg, Germany and is the only married senior.
#89, Keith Jackson Zinger.


Your 2006 LSU seniors.

- P.T.

Bowl Projections: Just When We Thought USC Was Finished...

I'm only going to delve into the bowls I think I'll actually watch. Really, I can't tell you if Nevada is better than UTEP or South Florida.

PetroSun Independence Bowl: Shreveport, LA
Alabama vs. Kansas State
The ballsy pick by the PetroSun suits would be to take a much hotter Kentucky team to represent the SEC. But as usual, it's all about filling seats. Kansas State beats out Texas Tech and Missouri with their late surge of national attention from the Texas win.

One thing I learned Saturday: how hard this dude is.

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl: San Diego, CA
California vs. Texas A&M
Congratulations, Cal, not only did you lose over ten million (and a possible national championship berth) by losing to Arizona on Saturday, you also will make your second Holiday Bowl trip in three seasons. Texas A&M is ever so slightly emerging back onto the national scene, and the Holiday is a much-needed vacation to San Diego for Aggie fans, whose team continues to redefine the stomach-punch loss.

Alamo Bowl: San Antonio, TX
Nebraska vs. Purdue
Purdue represents me looking up to see who is fifth ranked in the Big Ten right now. Nebraska makes their second trip in as many seasons, but Alamo officials won't be worried, as Cornhusker fans would bring 50,000+ to the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia.

Chik-Fil-A Bowl: Atlanta, GA
Georgia vs. Wake Forest
Georgia might have dipped into Independence Bowl territory with a loss to Auburn. Instead, even with a loss to Ga. Tech at this point, the hometown Dawgs are a lock to sell tickets in Atlanta. Wake Forest will likely get snubbed of a Gator Bowl berth due to fanbase.

I want a Wake Forest-Rutgers title game.

AT&T Cotton Bowl: Dallas, TX
Oklahoma vs. Auburn
This is the annual bowl with two highly-rated preseason teams that looks increasingly good on paper. Oklahoma will probably win out yet has little chance of gaining enough ground in the BCS to earn an at-large berth. Auburn's just treading water at this point. A loss to Alabama might subject them to the Chik-Fil-A.

Outback Bowl: Tampa, FL
Tennessee vs. Penn State
Probably the surest thing here. Perhaps no other non-BCS bowl has more of a chance to sell out. Penn State fans will gladly make the winter trip to Florida, possibly seeing Paterno coach for the last time (you never know). You can't spell Outback without UT. Really, no loser here.

Toyota Gator Bowl: Jacksonville, FL
Rutgers vs. Virginia Tech
Big East rematch! Get your tickets early! My God, if LSU's not playing in the morning, I'm not waking up this early hungover. Nice farewell tour for Schiano before he takes the Miami job. Virginia Tech and the goiter make their second consecutive trip to J-ville, hopefully losing all their players for a full eight months (we play them second week of the 2007 season).

Really, the comedy potential of Schiano is endless, especially if he takes a bigtime job.

Capital One Bowl: Orlando, FL
Wisconsin vs. Florida
Capital One usually hates to take the SEC Championship loser, but this year provides an exception. The Florida/Arkansas loser is almost guaranteed to be a top-ten team, neither of which have hit up the Citrus in a few years (I can't remember Arkansas ever going, actually). Wisconsin continues their trend as That Team of 2006 by scoring first and re-playing the subsequent kickoff over 160 times, abusing 3-2-5-e and sealing a 7-0 win.

Rose Bowl: Pasadena, CA
Michigan vs. West Virginia
Couch-burnin' on The Tonight Show! The Rose Bowl gets the first at-large choice (the Ohio State/Michigan loser definitely) since the #1 team in the country this season will be from the Big Ten. The Rose will also get the #2 choice among the unassigned teams for reasons you will learn later. The pool of unassigned teams will probably include Notre Dame, Boise State, West Virginia (no Big East contractual committment to play anywhere), and one other team TBD. A Michigan/Notre Dame rematch will probably be avoided, and Boise State's out of the question. Since West Virginia fans travel extremely well, a logical choice would be the Mountaineers. Interesting matchup of the WV running game versus the top-ranked Wolverine run defense.

Story came out this week that Lloyd motivated his team by showing them Cinderella Man in the offseason. Oh, really? Blockbuster must've run out of Braveheart and Gladiator.

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: Glendale, AZ
Texas vs. Boise State
Another rather certain matchup. These teams have been projected for the Fiesta about four or five weeks ago, though San Jose State nearly ruined Boise State's BCS future this past weekend. Texas seems more than able to win the Big 12 even without Colt McCoy, and the Horns are contractually obligated to play at the Taco. The Fiesta gets the last of the at-large picks and is stuck with the Blue Fielders, who will earn an automatic BCS appearance with a top-12 finish.

FedEx Orange Bowl: Miami, FL
Georgia Tech vs. LSU
There, I said it. The Tigers winning out means a probable top-six BCS finish, after USC/Notre Dame, Rutgers/West Virginia, and Arkansas/Florida. A quality win over Arkansas would probably be enough for LSU to leap at least a few teams. With one of the better winning streaks in the country, as much talent as anyone, and a traveling fanbase, why not us? The Orange gets an at-large pick this year after Rose, Rose, and Sugar. Obviously, bowls will avoid Boise like the plague, so this slot is really wide open. Georgia Tech is contractually obligated to play in the Orange if they win the ACC Championship. Bubes, we're going to Miami.

Might want to sit this one out, Chev.

Allstate Sugar Bowl: New Orleans, LA
Notre Dame vs. Arkansas
Really an interesting matchup, and two completely opposite fanbases. Arkansas will be contractually obligated to the Sugar as the SEC champion, and the Sugar gets the third choice of unassigned teams due to the four-year rotation. The Rose passing on Notre Dame would make the Sugar (and New Orleans in general) extremely happy to accept a 10-2 Irish. Arkansas, who has not been in a major bowl since joining the SEC in 1992, would quickly sell every ticket. Should Arkansas beat Florida in Atlanta, this matchup is almost definite.

BCS Championship Game: Glendale, AZ
(2) USC vs. (1) Ohio State
Thus, the Rose, with its Pac-10 and Big Ten ties, would receive the first two at-large selections. I think USC is able to beat California, Notre Dame, and UCLA. California has nothing to play for but the Holiday Bowl, which is likely even with a loss to USC. Notre Dame matches up well against SC, but I think the Trojans are mature enough to win with a berth on the line. Ohio State, obviously, would earn the top spot with a win over Michigan. The Buckeyes would be making their fourth trip to the Fiesta in five seasons.

You stay classy, Columbus. Hey, nice Photoshop.

My head hurts. BCS in review later.

- P.T.

Loving Mike Shula, Hating Chevis Jackson: Week 10 Recap:

That one kind of escalated in the first half, huh? If not for a timely Chase Pittman strip-and-fumble to end the half (where you been all year, Chase?), we could have sent 'Bama fans away with the usual giddy eighty-mile drive to New Orleans to party. Instead, they probably took I-12 home instead. Some thoughts:

• Like clockwork, captains JaMarcus, LaRon, Ceej Jackson, and Ryan Willis failed to win the coin toss, less than six days after I devoted an entire column to the most interesting story of the season. Sometimes college football is so predictable. So the offense took the field before the defense for the first time in 2006.

• Can we just take a minute and devote a few more words to perhaps the most talented quarterback in LSU history? One part invincible, one part collected, three parts efficient, fifty parts I can throw the football out of the fucking stadium. Last night I talked to my dad with the usual phone call after a decent win. He mentioned that he actually doesn't want JaMarcus to leave (oh, really?) but keeps hearing rumors that 'Maicus is a solid first-round pick and is leaning more and more towards packing up. I haven't been in this much denial since the first few days after Katrina. No, no, I haven't heard any of those rumors. I hope the average fan is beginning to realize that life after JaMarcus in 2007 or 2008-- with an even more high-profile, unbreakable, cancerously cocky replacement, no less-- is going to be downright miserable.

Long. White. Socks. With the addition of the Nike swoosh, it's pretty 1995.

• I forgot how nightmarish those first few chords of "Hey, Alabama!" are. My God, they're relentless with it. Years like '96 and '02, my ears were ringing with Dummm Dummm Dum-Dummm... Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dummm Dummm Dum-Dumm.... for about three weeks after the fact.

• Thanks to Georgia for getting my hopes sky high yesterday; thanks to Tennessee for downright shitting the bed. See, a Georgia win over Auburn coupled with a potential Tennessee win over Arkansas meant that LSU would control its own destiny in making the conference championship. Now, I'm facing the fact that I should take Houston Nutt seriously, that Darren McFadden is probably the best football player in the nation, and that our Atlanta hopes come down to Mississippi State and Alabama. But, hey, at least Auburn lost about ten million on Saturday.

Hey Cox, can't wait to play you next October, when Kenny's not in your backfield! - HTF.

• I was watching last night's game with the Florida fans who were actually pretty relieved Arkansas paced the Vols. We'd love to get another shot at Florida on a neutral field. Love to. Also, given the fact that Florida is probably the equivalent of Florida by Ron Zook: 2004 right now, I really wanted another shot at them. Oh well, Arkansas fans will be pretty easy to make fun of on New Year's night downtown.

You look hard enough, you'll find an Arkansas-related frosted cereal image. Pig sooey?

• Chevis Jackson. Where was I? I wouldn't trust this man with delivering my chinese food. Seriously, hope for the receiver to drop the pass and then celebrate, and maybe every now and then interfere just for good measure. I'm looking at you too, Zenon, who has strung together some of his worst games ever these past few weeks. John Parker Wilson to Jimmy Johns? Let's hope we're not playing Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl.

Chev-Chev does his best to muff something else.

• The funniest moment of the night was listening to Mike Patrick mention that Alley Broussard has dropped down to 238. Uh, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure the dude's gained weight since the opener; we even had a closeup of his neck roll while he was sitting on the bench. ESPN Full Circle would've been great last night.

Hey, Alley, you're so fat that the announcers are calling you the fullback and Hester the running back. Just thought you should know.

• Alabama, as expected, threw everything at us last night: onside kicks, fake punts, reverse passes, etc. Season's really in desperation mode; a win against Auburn might be the only saving grace for Our Boy #11. Speaking of Mike, I think he goes right up there with Jim Haslett, Art Shell, Jim Mora Jr., Jim Fassel, and Urban Meyer for having the worst possible sideline face when things are going wrong. I'm pretty sure he's my favorite.

Sometimes, you make that extra click, and your job gets a lot easier.

• Maybe we have a running game now! Maybe Keiland, Jake, and Alley provide just enough changes of pace to get the job done. Maybe our offensive line has finally learned how to create holes. Now, now, let's not get too arrogant and pace all 150 lbs. of Trindon Holliday in the backfield-- he'd turn to dust. Speaking of Trin, they said he ran a 4.27 40 from an upright stance. We're going to win the title next season.

• Two of my favorite LaRon moments back-to-back last night. First, he welcomes John Parker Wilson to the Alabama job by giving him the Brodie Croyle Treatment, then he breaks up maybe the most ill-conceived fake punt possible by flinging the punter around by the facemask. Pelini, who was standing right there, had a great reaction, in the grey sweatshirt no less. One of the worst facemasks I've ever seen. Five yards. Offsetting penalties. Repeat the down. Game over.

Two weeks in a row of wanting to make fun of the opposing quarterback, two huge disappointments.

• We've now won the last four and six of the last seven against 'Bama. Mike Shula is 0-5-1 against the Tigers. We're getting some of their best athletes. I might actually bury a copy of this blog and dig it up twenty years from now just to have a good laugh.

So what now? Is there anything to be halfway optimistic about? No team in the nation has played a tougher schedule than LSU-- the Arkansas game will mark the fourth road game against a top-eight team. Going 2-2 in those games is in no way disappointing, and we're the highest-rated two-loss team in the country. A few more one-loss teams losing could mean an at-large berth for the Tigers, possibly pacing the ACC winner in the Orange Bowl.

Ga Tech, Wake, or Maryland? Book me a ticket.

But hey, I'm the same wide-eyed fan who had visions of LSU in the Rose Bowl the week before the Florida game. Go ahead, dream it, you fuckin' dreamers.

- P.T.