Hot Boudin, Cold Cous-Cous...

Liveblogging the BCS Selection Special:

6:49: It really will be interesting to see how FOX does this. Are they going to blow the Glendale load, ABC-style, right from the start? Or will they hold onto the climax until the very end, Prison Break-style? Let's see.

6:50: "College football has been woven into the fabric of America." Yeah, thanks, FOX, the same network that's been giving us only the Cotton Bowl for a decade. I've associated Ron Pitts with a splitting hangover for about five years now.

6:51: Shot of UF fratties... we're officially underway. Sadly, I don't see any dismayed looks in their future. All signs point to UF edging out the Wolverines with a 26-coach lead. Just how many text messages did Urban Meyer send out last night? hey les, ill pay for ur gas to NO myself! hopefully :) thx, urban.

Yeah, the three BCS berths are OK, but I'm beginning to think we're missing a step by not having a team cereal.

6:52: Your suspense-bearing trio: Chris Rose, Charles Davis, and Barry Alvarez. Subtract Chris Rose and Add Thom Brennaman and you have their championship booth trio. I might have a wet dream about Brad Nessler tonight.

6:54: The Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: #8 Boise State versus #12 Oklahoma. Not that bad a matchup, really. Stoops is probably still the best coach in the land, and Boise State might be the biggest question mark out there. Um, yeah, Dan Hawkins's stock is about as high as Drew Bledsoe's right now. Good luck riding out that contract, Colorado.

Lou Holtz's son?

6:56: Boise State fans in the school gymnasium! Look at 'em cheer! See, they celebrate the same way we do! That's a pimp JCPenney jacket with makeshift Bronco patch HC Chris Peterson is sporting. I'm excited.

6:58: Yeah, that's why the BCS put a fifth game in. It has absolutely nothing to do with money. Just the thought of Boise State players stuck in the MPCComputers.com Bowl was keeping Roy Kramer up at night. Prediction: this is the last year the 'BCS' system is used. It may be similar next year, but the letters 'BCS' have garnered such a sour connotation, I don't see the name surviving.

7:01: Pontiac Game Changing bullshit. There really weren't any spectacular plays that changed the game this season, were there? Can I just vote for Prothro again?

7:02: Verne Lundquist's wet dream of Tebow's jumpshot was shown again... kill me now. I can't wait till Florida gets rolled over and the program is set back a couple years, Nebraska-style. It's making me giddy.

7:02: FOX pretty much just sandwiched two commerical breaks with the Pontiac Game-Changing nominees. Never thought I'd say this, but I miss John "Black Canadian" Saunders.

Clubbin' at The V Foundation afterparty. If there's a God, John Saunders has a myspace.

7:04: Hey, stop showing the Boise State band, will you? I really don't give a shit; this is a team who clearly cannot get any higher than eighth in the rankings in any given season. But they really do manufacture skilled white running backs like potatoes over there. Go back to anonymity, please.

7:05: Your FedEx Orange Bowl pairs #14 Wake Forest against #6 Louisville. This I'm not too intrigued about. Wake Forest might be the ugliest team to win ten games ever, and the Cardinals will sleepwalk through their bowl again. Good luck with those ticket sales, though.

7:07: I'm flattered there's a Bengal Tiger in the Nissan 'Race for the Heisman' commercial. Surely, they must mean Chev-Chev or Justin Vincent.

America's favorite DB. All I want for Christmas is a freaking LSU letter jacket.

7:09: FOX has already given us a clue... all cameras on the Gators. Give us some pain, FOX. I want to see Chad Henne's mom in tears.

7:10: And yes, it's Florida versus Ohio State in the championship game. Personally, I can't wait. Jim Tressel's the best coach in the nation (along with Bob Stoops) and Urban Meyer's still tremendously overrated... some of those third-quarter calls were atrocious last night. Yes, please use three timeouts in the span of seven minutes on January 8. Oh my, indeed.

7:12: Your requisite Urban Meyer interview. Shouldn't all the Florida players be studying for finals right now? Nevermind, I'm pretty sure they're well-prepared.

We're a couple years from the inevitable sexual harassment scandal, just sit tight.

7:14: From one pretentious prick to another, here's James P. Tressel! Always Tressel-like, the man refused to cast a vote in the coaches poll. How about voting for Florida and fueling the rivalry with That School Up North? What a politically correct toolbelt.

7:16: "Just how close was the finish? Try ten one-thousandths of a point." Or, try one one-hundreth of a point, perhaps. Or maybe 10 million trillionths of a point. Barry Alvarez is walking off the set. Really, that finish isn't nearly as close as I'd expect (a 10.69% differential). I think the BCS is just making the numbers smaller so the Chris Roses of the world can get excited.

7:17: "This is the game we're dealt." FOX is certainly starting to build the hype here! I'm definitely calling FedEx with my Alltel to order some Tostitos Hint of Limes for the big game. Mission accomplished.

7:17: And the Alltel Sugar Bowl: Your #4 Tigers versus #11 Notre Dame. Mmmmmmmmm... how excited am I for just one LaRon hit on Brady Quinn? For just one pass to Bowe, Doucet, or Davis in the open field? For the opportunity to see a bigtime LSU game for the first time since Auburn 2005? To be in the dome for the first time since Katrina? Since the national championship? Pasadena freaking sucks this time of year anyway.

No homo.

7:18: Tiger highlights to 'Born on the Bayou.' I'll take it. Any national voicetime for Jim Hawthorne is a good thing. They really do love that Dorsey hit on the Arizona quarterback, for some reason. Sugar Bowl-bound!

7:20: The Rose Bowl: #3 Michigan versus #5 USC. Not too much to say about this one. Two teams who clearly don't want to be in sunny Pasadena in January. At least LSU fans have already started booking flights and hotel rooms, though. Go heckle John David Booty on the Tonight Show with your FUSC shirt; it's well worth it.

Remember, you're still Josh Booty's brother. Even the Browns got rid of him.

7:25: Mike Silve, BCS commissioner. "Attendance is up... interest is up..." Um, Mike, this isn't baseball. The BCS has nothing to do with putting fans in seats of school stadiums. Interest is up because the system is so ridiculous, even the average fan has raised an eyebrow. But, hey, thanks. Chris Rose to Slive: "What are you going to say to Lloyd Carr? To his kids?" Chris Rose has gotten exponentially harder.

7:28: Charles Davis, who is this guy? "I'm excited... I'm excited." I especially enjoy the 'someone should change this' on his Wikipedia page; he's officially FOX material. ABC really let go of this contract at just the right time. And to think, a mere two months ago I thought I'd be drunkenly freezing in Shreveport this bowl season. I love this team.

- P.T.